‘It's not her business’: New mom defends her shared parenting structure when her husband's nosy female friend oversteps with her unsolicited opinion

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 8, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Not everyone is a morning person and night owls are a dime in a dozen. But for some parents—who have one of each specialty—they've potentially found the shared parenting jackpot! Kids have no limits when it comes to their energy. Morning, noon, or night, kids are ready to give their parents a run for their money. So if you're a clever mom and dad, you might realize your strengths are better spent dividing and conquering your child's time. 

This next couple tackled both night and day as a duo, splitting their time to allow the other the rest they needed. However, even though the system was working quite well, the husband's closest female friend, a rival you could say, stepped in and shared her two-cents. Keep scrolling to read how this unraveled a couple's parenting structure at the seams, forcing one woman to stand her ground and protect their parenting tactics from an outsider.

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  • "AITA For telling a friend isn’t not her business how me and MY husband parent?"

    My husband has a friend Erica. I don't like her. She always seems weirdly judgmental of the way we do things. Most of that judgement being on me.
    via Ill_Butterscotch_274
  • Anyways the last time she was over, my husband and her were talking about kids (Erica and her so have kids, as do we) and mornings got brought up.
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  • For some information, I don't do mornings, my husband does. He works 9-6 and I start at the same time as him but end earlier. He does mornings because he
    via Ill_Butterscotch_274
  • doesn't mind waking up earlier, and I get more sleep and less on my mind in the morning. It's an arrangement that works for us and I always do mornings if he's sick or physically can't.
    via Ill_Butterscotch_274
  • When Erica found that out, she started with judgement. I was in the same room as them but just wasn't adding to the conversation. Stuff like "Oh both my husband and I do mornings" and "Kind of S ks you're on your own 100% of the time." I didn't like that and let
    via Ill_Butterscotch_274
  • her know that my husband and I's decisions aren't any of her business. The topic switched over to something else and she didn't say anything related to me after. Aita? My husband says that I made if "awkward"
    via Ill_Butterscotch_274
  • BeltOk7087 Not the ah but this brings up other issues. Like why ain't your husband standing up to you? Why is he still friends with her? This friend is into your husband and she's a pick me. Like an
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • actual one. She's not your friend and she'll tear your family to spite Ypu. She obviously dislikes you. But who's more in tje wrong is your husband. If I was you I would look into their "friendship
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  • Tumbleweed Rooted NTA. She's in your house talking sh about you. Telling her to bot out isn't only appropriate, it's vital for mental health and wellness. What are you supposed to do, sit there and listen to her disparaging you and swallow your feelings about it so that she doesn't feel bad? No. She's being a nosy AH. You are protecting your peace.
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  • peakerforlife NTA. She was rude to you, and you stuck up for yourself because he wouldn't. But really, he needs to be sticking up for you every time she says these things. He should practice
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  • first if he's nervous. Roleplay times she's insulted you, with you playing the part of her, so he can come up with things to say. You are his wife, and your feelings should matter more to him than her feelings.
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  • MaeSilver909. Your husband should have your back. Ericka is very rude making comments on how anyone makes decisions in their life. Would Ericka like it? I guess you could find out by making passive/aggressive remarks like she does. NTA
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  • PuzzleheadedAct3431 NTA. I willing to bet that the friend and her husband don't have a happy house hold and she is protecting that on to you. To add to this I bet the friend has a massive crush on OP husband.
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  • PenguinMadd NTA, and your husband needed to have a backbone in that situation and let Erica know her comment was out of line. This makes me wonder what is said between them when you're not around.
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  • gurlwithdragontat2 NAH - Uhm, so I don't actually think this is talking cr p.. It's clear you don't like this woman or her company, and that is perfectly fine. But I wouldn't be at all offended by those comments, unless I was looking to be upset.
    via gurlwithdragontat2
  • When I'm having convos with my friends about their schedule, those aren't irrational comments to make and aren't direct digs at all, they just seem to be part of the convo, further supported by the fact that
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  • you weren't further 'brought up!' I think it's valid to dislike someone, and limit contact, but there seems to be grand offense to these seeming innocuous comments.
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  • TemptingPenguin369 NTA. Your husband is the problem for allowing his "friend" to sh-talk you in your own home.
    via TemptingPenguin369
  • NoSignSaysNo I'm noticing a distinct lack of info requests about the division of labor in this thread, which is really strange when OP says she wakes up later and gets out earlier than her husband.
    via NoSignSaysNo
  • Ok-Following-6253 ΝΤΑ You should tall to your husband about why he's still friends with her when she's obviously being rude. Try to get her out of your life and js try to stay away from her in future
    via Ok-Following-6253
  • jensmith20055002 ESH Ericka is a major ah le obviously. If this was a topic that everyone was discussing then the "none of your business" is a nuclear response.
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  • Not every plan works for every family. I am happy you found what works for your family.
    via jensmith20055002
  • Thanks for your interest but we love our setup. The idea is to project you and your husband as a team, not create an awkward moment.
    via jensmith20055002

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